I have been trying to come to terms with my feelings and thoughts about what others say to me about parenting.  I do not feel incomplete without children.  I don’t hate children (although I dislike parents that don’t take responsibility for being parents).

I am very bothered when someone tells me that I would make a great mother.  I know most women would receive this as a compliment, but to me it does not come across as a compliment, even if the intent is innocent.  I feel as though the person is making the assumption that just because it is a natural desire for them that I must also have that desire, and therefore would need the reassurance that I could do the job well.

I realize that as a defense mechanism against this, I have become cynical and hateful about children, which is not a truth about me.  It seems as though subconsciously I am trying to convince others that I would be a horrible parent, just so they will stop bringing it up.

I want to celebrate in the joy that others find in fulfilling their desire for children.  I want to be able to encourage them and be happy for them.  I don’t want to feel that my lack of desire is being trivialized.

Please stop trying to convince me that I need to muster up this desire for children.  Try to imagine changing your mind about wanting to have children and you can imagine how impossible it would be for me to ‘will’ myself into changing my mind about not wanting children.  Try to remember that a compliment to you is not the same to everyone else.  Consider feelings and how something you say will be received.